Jacaranda Trees
View from Mt. NeboRandom Adventures in the Southern Hemisphere!
Jacaranda Trees
View from Mt. Nebo
Who's got two thumbs and also has Rubgy League World Cup Tickets?! THIS GUY!!! Well I don't have them yet, but I will by the time most of you lot wake up and read this!

So it's been a week or so since I last gave anybody any news. Other than mums who just had the big 25 late last week, I figured some of you may be getting worried about my moneyless, workless dilema.
Its been pretty low key for me around here, not wanting to spend more money than I have to. I have been reading a lot, finishing a book every few days. It's getting to the point where reading is beginning to cost me more money than I want to spend on pieces of paper. Thankfuly, Amazon.com delivers to this part of the world and I should be getting a healthy package that should last me a couple weeks. I usually enjoy supporting local business but they charge over 3x what amazon wants. And amazon includes the shipping to my door! Dont want to be expending too much energy! But bike stores are different so remember to support Winners Edge and All Seasons because their prices are always the lowest.
My riding has been a little lazy lately. Its been brutally hot and honestly im yet to find a good route. The only good route I've found includes the ascent of 2 'mountains'. The first is a 14% beast for 3-4 km and the other is a ondulating long climb. The problem with it is that:1. I am not the mountain goat I though I was 2. Everyuphill section has a grade of 10%+. Not much easier from the earlier climb. Anywho, its pretty depressing!
Yesturday (tuesday), I decided to get off my ass and go ride 70-80k. Checked out a website that shows routes that other people recommend. I found a good one that goes to the ocean and rides by it for a while. The roads looked like they were pretty quiet and it would be a plesant Bermuda like ride. Errror 1 - Getting to the coast with @$$face's directions took me along some of Brisbane's busiest roads, not to mention the number of red lights. Bikely.com, is used by newbies. DO NOT USE IT.
I was already on my way so I wasn't going to turn back. 25km of painful city riding. Getting to the coast was awesome. It was like the Grand Bend Strip for about 10-15km. I ended up overshooting my turn because I was enjoying the road so much. Quick turn around and I was back on my way. The directions took me through the back of the beachtown, which was quite nice but I had no idea of what was going to be around the next corner.
You might be interested to know it is 'Magpie Swooping Season" here. Magpies are these cool looking white and black birds. I remember shouting to Linds from the balcony "Whoa! Look at that cool ozzi bird" when i first got here. Well they weren't so cool anymore. I'd heard of horrifying stories where they things swoop form the trees and aim for your eyes and peck the $hit out of you but I was clearly better and cooler than the suckers who had been attacked.
So, I went around the round about and was heading down a faux downhill. In the small ring going a half decent click of about 45 (all info from my Polar computer graph). Out of nowhere I felt and heard something nipping the back of my helmet. What the flying PHUCK??!! It was this black and white bird, wings extended, trying to make road kill out of me. I've heard these things attack for the eyes, so wanting to keep my sexy eyes in my face I fumbled putting it in the big ring. Not to mention I love my new Polarised Radars (you tha man Kory). First dumping the derailleur all the way down(damn campy) and then finally hitting the big ring. For all those people I've told that dumping of the gears in the back end is useless, I lied. I went to my 11 in the matter of half a second and went as hard as I could in a FULL OUT SPRINT. Adrenaline feeding my muscles, I maxed out at 76 (polar) and averaged 66 for that what seemed like an eternity. The bugger didn't let up. And, I might mention, didn't have a problem keeping up. Chased me for just shy of a kilometer before I started swinging my arm backyards and scared him away. I stoped immidiatly, totally out of breath and straight up dead. Sucked back some gatorade and water and gathered my self. Realized I missed my turn because I was riding away from Ale Jet, I had to ride back towards the beast and hook a left.
He'll be gone or tired right?
Now riding a faux uphill, I scan the skies looking for this Death Eater. Not a bird in sight, I'm in the clear and laughing about the whole ordeal. 100 meters away from my turn, I see the bastard on a lamp post. Adrenaline rushes through my veins all over again, putting my gears in the big ring again. I set a good tempo and cut a car off turning left because I can see the thing jump off the lamp out of the corner of my eye. Meanwhile, the girl in the passenger seat is pointing and laughing at me being chased by this bird. Because swinging my arm worked last time, I am riding as hard as I can while swinging my left arm backyards wanting nothing more than smoking it and letting it get run over by the car now behind me. That didn't happen. When I could come close, the thing would ease up only to come swooping down faster. It did this 3-4 times over the space of another kilometer. Finally, after only bruising my ego, he let up and left me alone. I dont think I can even explain the state of exhaustion I was left in. Brutal. I just wanted to be in bed, under the covers away from any threat from anything. I still had another 30km ahead of me. 30km of open skies in a country that has most of the most dangerous animals in the world.
The ride took me through more busy roads and I was cursing the idiot who mapped out this ride. Busy roads and murderous birds. I wasn't happy. 3.5 hours for 80k. My heartrate didn't drop below 170 after the whole thing which is super high considering I couldn;t go faster than 25km/h!
Now im scrared as hell to go riding! Its one thing outriding a dog or something, but you can't see these bastards coming. A bunch of zipties to the helmet apparently does something. But I am too chicken to test out the theory right now!
I'm off to Fiji in a week to try and forget this traumatic experience.
And then I'll be a working man! Talk soon!