Snow Flake Revival

I am back from the dead. Half way anyways. Finances are still far and firm underground! Although not sure they've ever seen daylight!



Not even sure where to start. So many stupid things have happened since the begining of the TDF. My last known blog date. I have changed hemispheres, hung up the bike and found a new 'permanent temporary' address. Things aren't so different I guess!

Became a pretty solid Shiraz Connaiseur in July with not much biking going on. Got back on the horse pretty good in August in Canada banging 600+ a week. And then pissed it all away on a cottage weekend. Booze costs in the 4 digits, we were happy to be in Quebec where the costs are atleast half price. That began a downward sprial and the bike has been ignored since. But the fun has been pretty awesome!

Now find my self in beautiful Whistler BC. New Friends, new job and my first mountain season. I had honestly planned on doing multiple seasons, but the more I think about it the less likely it becomes. Travelling is constantly on my mind but I need to settle down at sometime or another! Maybe another big trip...or two!

Post a picture from my blackberry when I get off this thing. The stupid story blog back!

TDF Stage 1

I would steal pictures from cyclingnews but I dont have a mac. My dying laptop can't handle it.
Anywho

Why the heck was Menchov running a 30mm front wheel when these guys have access to everything. Even outside of sponsorship contracts. It was my understanding anywho, that Shimano now has a 65mm wheel. Even if that is just my imagination, the C50 was def available. All the other boys were running 808s and tri spokes. Something sketchy going on there!

Fancy Lance - DAMN he looks lean!

Cadel - Hope your ready to stay 5th for 3 weeks

Roller Skate Shoes - Testing my patience

Don't you have the urge to body check every kid rolling around on these stupid things. Who the heck thought "Hey lets make shoes with wheels on the heels to piss the world off and make a million dollars". I was in the grocery store earlier today and had to fight the urge of body checking this brat into the milk fridge. And trust me, the little $hit came close! It would have been an immence waste of amazing australian milk. Probably the only thing keeping me in check. Good thing for him I really like my homogenized milk!

Anywho, that was the start of my 'I'm sick of Australia' day.

Didn't have a good ride this morning. Flatted within 10 minutes of racing at Muzza. Rode afterwards, but it was cold and windy. Not a great start to my first saturday off in eons. I am saying this while hanging out on the porch and enjoying a decent shiraz which was on sale!

Only 1 more month until I head 'home'. Where ever that is! Home will be between London, Toronto, Montreal, Quebec City, Bermuda and possibly Trinidad (if I can stop being a lazy ass about trainning). Doesn't sound too bad but it will be out of a suitcase with ZERO dollars. Nice! But honestly I am looking forward to it. Familar faces and unemployement.

Racing tomorrow again on another easy course but the mega winds will make the selection. I dont plan on showing my face on the front. Just riding for the miles.

Anywho, I hope everyone will be watching the opening stage of the tour - Should be a good one!

A+

JN

Day 1 Rehab - Relapse

Well. I am weak...

I usually drink 9/10 of a bottle and leave 1 glass for the next day. But the usual dosage is a bottle. Gonna try to keep it at half today.

Oh well. 2 days of racing this weekend.

A+

Checkin' into Rehab

I haven't been updating the site because I've had some substance abuse problems. I've been hitting the bottle pretty good. I haven't been trainning. Damn Australian Shiraz!

No more! I'm back on the bike and its back to some serious trainning. Some half decent results with very little trainning so its time to keep at it and head back to Canada with some good form.

No. 1 Goal - Have a solid ride in the Windsor Crit.

Well much has happened since I last updated. First of all, my age has reached a pretty large fraction of a century. I've booked my flight home for early august. And I purchased a winning lottery ticket worth over 90million AUS$. Well, I have purchased a ticket. It hasn't officially been chosen yet....

I'm getting pretty excited about returning to Canada. No work. Or very little anyways. And getting back to the old habits. Gonna have to fit some mega riding miles in tthere too but it should be something I can fit into my schedule.

Anywho, its cold as tits. Waking up at 430am sucks! I hope the weather begins warming up again or its going to be a long month!

See you back in the Northern Hemisphere! Back into the future!

Tour de Tweed - A lesson in pain

Tour de Tweed - Battle on the Border. 3 days, 4 stages. Just north of New South Wales. Valleys, hills, cold and wet. Managed to step down a grade for this high profile race. Down to B which also meant we were racing with Masters A. It wasn't stepping down much.

Stage 1 - 8km ITT

Showed up at the race without much time to spare. Also had to deal with all the rego as we missed it the night before. Managed to bang out a 20 minute warm up in freezing cold valley temperatures. Exactly what you are looking to do when you love time trialing as much as I do and haven't pre ridden the course.

Course = SHITTY roads, a bridge which rattled my bones more than anything and train tracks, mid corner!

Well not much to talk about here, finished 28/46. A good TT in my books considering I was one of the first starters and TT's suck. Race of truth? I'm a liar! Lost 2 minutes on the lead rider. 1 minute and a half to the lead 5.

Stage 2 - 66km RR - 4 laps

Well after my impressive show in the TT it was time to step it up a notch. The day warmed up several degrees by our 1030 start. A little nervous as I got shelled bad last week. We also drove down the hill we had to go up. There was a 'Warning' Sign on the side. Caution 10%. And it went on and on! Basically 2 large rollers before 1 long 'berg' which kicked up pretty good as it turns. Just when you thought you got over it. Just to make sure you got slapped in the face good, there is 1 more good kicker after 800m of downhill. It looks like you can use momentum and your big ring, but you can't. It hurts and will pop you from the group. The rest were relatively flat roads. 2 knarly wooden bridges which claimed many water bottles and CS600's.

I managed to get over the hills twice without too much struggle. My weight has been at 78 regularly and I was happy with my perfermance. On lap 3, however, things got different. The 2 rollers before the main climb took much more out of me and 70% up the climb the legs shut off. I was still going up, just not at the pace I needed to be going at. My team mate caught me warning me it was the end of the train but I was unhooked. I tried chasing and it looked like I could of got back on, but I was toast.

My team mate, Julian, got unhooked every lap but managed to pull back on every time. The guy is nearly 20kg heavier than I am. A diesel engine like I've never seen before. He finished in the main group and managed to move up a few spots on GC up to 6th.

I rode the last lap tempo and warmed down properly in the last 10km. Lost 12 minutes.

Could have been worst considering the profile, but I was very dissapointed. 3 bad races in a row.

Stage 3 - 110km RR - Out and Back.

An even colder day. Pretty cool course. Out and Back with 1 Lap of the previous day's course. 1 15% kicker which was supposed to be for 500m but it was easily closer to 1 km.

We rode the first 40kms out to the first big kicker mega fast. Speed never really diping bellow 40 and easily averaging 45. The kicker really hurt the legs. It was steep and long and steep. People went backwards fast so I made sure to try to stick with the lead wheels. I only managed the lead 2nd group but I thought that was it. The field of 100 was shattered and my 2nd group merged with the front just after the descent which also lead us into the lap of yesturday's and right into the hilly section. Legs were screaming riding at the front thinking our group was split. I was too shattered and eyes were too unfocused to realize most of the riders had rejoined. DAMN. I had some serious tunnel vision and another section of mega hills was right there.

I got popped at the exact same point as I had the previous day. Julian rode by me again telling me to hang on and that we would get back on. I dug and dug and dug and managed to roll over the crest close to his wheel. Once he knew I was there, the diesel engine kicked in downhill and we were making back lost ground. CHEEEWWW CHEEEWWW! 'The Big Unit' as he became known to other racers and more importantly the race commentator pulled us back to the lead group. I didn't do much other than a short pull out of a corner.

The same happend as we hit the backside of the 15% hill which wasn't as steep but it was much longer. We both got popped with about 200m to go. If this wasn't a lesson in pain, I dont know what is. Julian passed me again and paced me back on to the lead group. I have no idea how this guy does it but PHUCK. We got back on.

40km back to the finish. Again, managed to find my self too far back in the group of about 30 with 5km. Again managed to weasle my way to a perfect position with just over a 1km to go with next to no effort. About 15 riders back. The fire in my belly grew and this suckers were gonna get smashed. Oh yeah. We were also riding with Juniors. They crashed with 1km to go. They were also riding the front and really messed my stuff up! I somehow managed to find an inside line and came out onto the home stretch untouched. The lead 8 riders got a 20m gap. It was done. I rolled over the line, managed a 3rd in my category. Not my best podium but a win is a win I suppose.

Julian wasn't so lucky. He wasn't able to follow my line and had to where to go but straight over the curb into a massive ditch. He also managed to destroy a Brand New Zipp 808 rear wheel. Anywho, couple thousand australian$$ retail value.

Julian jumped to 4th on GC and I jumped up to 17th on GC with my time bonus.

Stage 4 - Crit

Nothing to say other than another dissapointment. I had NO legs left. Lost 1 minute for the leaders, managed to jump up to 16th on GC. It was fast and pretty technical. Would of been awesome on fresh legs.

The kicker for the weekend. 3rd place in the 'Epic Road Race' - 30 bucks! Never worked so hard for 30$!

A big thanks to Jules for pulling me over the hills. And to Karen and Pete for housing me in a place with an ocean view! The Lamb Shanks and Chicken and Leek Casserol also KICKED ARSE!!

Crits are Cool, Road Race are Rough

First big race weekend. Didn't know what to anticipate other than it wasn't going to be club racing with the boys.

Slapped on the new race wheels.  First impression was AWESOME.  Tubulars rock my world I could feel the aero advantages kicking in at very low speeds.  Handled very well in very tough cross winds and kicked it up a notch above 40kph.  Worth all the money I paid?  Definitely not!  But they are cool, fast and comfortable.  Not to mention dead sexy.

Anywho, back to the crit.

Crit was fast and furious.  45mins+2 laps.  Single file most of the way.  No tough corners made it easy to hang on without much effort.  A big break made it up the road with about 10 minutes to go.  It looked like a threat and I didn't have any team mates to look to.  Got on the front and drove it for about 1/4 a lap.  A little help from 2 others and the big boys up ahead were back.  I, however, was gased!  What the hell was I thinking?  I sat at the back to get my breath back, but the single filing made it slow to find.  Got comfortable again when we got the 2laps to go.  I was basically dead last in the group.  Not sure how I was going to weasle my way to the front on some good wheels!  Stayed at the back until  3/4 of a lap to go when I noticed 3 guys finding a gap on the outside.  Got on them and with 1/2 a lap to go, we were launching passed the sprinters and the tempo setters.  OH YEAH!  This could stick!  And then my group of 3 other all sat up. 

Well, I was already committed so there was only 1 thing to do.  Hope Mr. Hed and Mr. Bonti did a good job designing my wheels because all that laid infront of me was a knarly cross wind and a head wind.  I stayed 10meters ahead of the group the whole time with the train going hard behind me.  Took the last corner solo and headed to the finish in what seemed to be pretty awesome style. 

The sprinters came flying by me with about 50 meters to go.  I finished mid pack.

The road race was less eventful.  Little warm up, hills and massive winds.  The guys went hard form the word go and it only got harder.  I made it up the hill, but interestly enough, getting down the hill with the lead group was equally as hard!  Cross winds made the back echelon the whole way back to the start/finish.  I was gased, and got popped after a single lap (out of 5).  Mega disappointed as my weight has been down and the training has been good.  Only 20 or so finished but I was hoping for a better result.

I clearly don't have enough racing in my legs to keep up with the big shots.  Nearly there, just need a little more umphh and keep my mind in it.

Tweed this weekend.  Bigger hills.  Anyone know how to get better in 4 days?

A+

Upcoming: Serious Reality Check

Well Metropolitan Champs are up this weekend.  Crit @ Muzza on Saturday.  120 km Road Race on Sunday.  Race calls for hills and loads of wind.  Awesome.  Hopefully pull something out of the bag just to finish but just expecting to get some good training honestly.  The crit on the other hand.  Going for the win.  Raced awesome last weekend with my Team Mate Julian taking the win.  Fooling the sprinters on the inside with 500m to go.  I got all excited back in the pack and jumped on a dummy attack.  Got to 200m before the line with no more gas in the tank.

Good racing for the day.  Was active all day, getting into some breaks.  Did some hills post race and wrapped it up with 140 under the belt.  42 avr for the race.

Will just have to stay patient and race smart for Saturday.  Sunday will be sucking wheels to the max!

New Veels! Kicks in next week!

Never far from my new babies

Maurrarie - Mazza for short - Muzz for the Kool Kats

First Australian race after all that talk last year!  Got cold feet for nothing!  'A' grade race was a 'piece of piss'!  Equivalent to Cat 1/2.  Mazza is a crit track which wasn't designed to be very technical.  All corners are easy to pedal through at high speeds.  That being said, there was still a knarly crash today with 2 to go.  A handful of people down and 80% of peoples' race over.

Rode top 10/15 wheels the whole race.  Sat up like a pussy everytime I came to the front.  But todays goal was to finish and see where my legs stacked up with the likes of Southern Hemispherers.  Acting like a tough guy to gain form is for next week.  Unfortunately the crash with 2 to go really messed up my flow.  Gave my sprint up to bridge back up to the front.  The fitness is there to hang in until the end.  50 minute crit.  High 40 avr speed.  Happy with the legs!

So riding my high all day, I basically signed up for the up coming tour de Tweed.  4 stages, 3 days.  Also includes a Dash for Cash on the first night.  600meter street sprints.  Can you say Zip X front street races?!  YAH DAMN!  I'm no pure sprinter, but the things I would do for a little more cash!  The rest of the race is characterized as very hilly!  AWESOME!  I'm not expecting much, other than an awesome racing weekend, but I'm hoping to acquire some form .

Anywho, other than that, the training is getting better by the week and the fire for racing is back.  Hurting sucks but Phuck does racing quick ass!  Some guy tried to take my wheel with 1 lap to go, giving me the shoulder and elbow in a corner going 50kmh.  Gave it to him back and could do nothing but smile!  Sorry SUCKA!  This guys 80kilos!  Go move the skinny guy 3 wheels back!

Charity ride tomorrow and some intense hill cramming for next week.  Wish me luck.  Enjoy the fancy tan lines and the new kit.  

BTW those are small bibs and medium jersey!  Next best to a skin suit!

BOOYAH!

Ozzie Aerial Bomber and My First Taste of Winter in 365 days

Cock-a-Phucking-too. Sounds like a terradactyl, has a beak which would snap a piece of rebarb steel clean in half and has terrible instincts when it comes to facing off with a group of 20 cyclist mid effort charging at 45km/h.

CHARGE FOR THE CANUCK AT THE FRONT!

CHRIST!

This yelling prehistoric sounding bird had his sights on my red Oakley's. Of course everyone had a great laugh while I shat my self for the second time. I avoided it at the last second, as I hugged my top tube and shouted all types of obscenities at my second assassination attempt. Australias airforce has been quite adamant at forcing me to leave the country. Hopefully the birds leave my airplane alone as I leave the southern hemisphere in August.

Other than that, the riding was good last week. Although the kms were only decent the quality was again very high. 250 for the weekend. 350 for the week not including Sunday. Tons of hills and speed. Sunday was Tamborine Mtn. Great climb and had good legs despite the hard ride on Saturday. My form isn't quite where it needs to be to start calling the shots in races, but then again, I'm not sure I've ever called the shots! Wheel surfing and pipping you at the line are my specialty! Purchased some wheels this week. Not my first, second or third choice, but these rising prices are really limiting my very limited budget. Went with Bonti's Aeolus 6.5, Sprinter tubs and a Record Cassette. Interestly, my bike wheel budget is over twice my new car budget! At least I got my priorities right!

The weather is getting mega cold. The afternoons are still beautiful, although I wouldn't know. Sweat Shop rules don't allow us to leave during the day. But the mornings between 5-9am are cold as heck. Today was especially bad as we rode inland towards Tamborine. Fog and that breath steam. Good thing I left my booties, long weather gear in Canada. It's really helpful in my probably flooding basement!

Anywho, not riding tomorrow morning. Big sleep in until 8am or something!

Happy Mothers Day!

Go get me 50 bags of ice. Should keep you busy for a while

Sea Food Festival.  1 day, 1 street, 20,000 people

Do you know who you are talking to boss?!  50 bags of ice!  Pff!  10kg each = half a metric phucking ton!  No worries! You are paying me 20 bucks an hour! Oh Yeah.  The ice is at the bottom of the hill!

6 bags at a time and some serious pushing!  But I put all the other stalls to shame.  They had two panzies pushing 5 bags at a time.  Pussies!  Got my Half Ton done within the hour and resumed being Mr. Amazing!  I got paired up with this other dude, but honestly he did nothing but slow me down and follow me like a fricken two year old.  Icing shit, or picking up stuff, he was right behind me!  "DUDE!  LOOK!  I GOT THIS TABLE OR CASE OF BEER!  GO ICE THAT ONE!  THIS ONE WILL BE FINE AFTER I POUR THIS BAG OF ICE ON IT!"

WANKER

Anywho, it was nice to see people who began work hours after me getting laid off hours before me.  Putting in a 3-4 hour shift.  I ended up being good enough for 10 and got laid off before the final clean up.  Beer never tasted so good!

Also rode 100km that morning at 5am!  and 100km of major hills the day before!

Last week was nice on the bike.  The milage was low at 250 but the quality was very high.  Did some school of pops riding.  When slow and weak.  Ride big ass hills often!  Hit the back side of Coot Tha 3 times and did the hilyest store ride to date.  Clear Mountain followed by the Nebo Goat Track.  Clear mountain is best explained by 5 steps which bring up up to this sweet ridge.  Unfortunately each step has an average of about 18-20% each.  Yeah that hurt.  Good thing the 30km before were nice rolling hills and the following 40km include the Nebo goat track!  There was no saving the legs.  Straight up hurt.  A total of 1 hour 38 minutes of climb time.  Average speed at a decent 28 and a cool max speed of 78!

Just gotta keep up this attitude and the fitness will be back within a month.

Damage Control

Well I'm not looking to create another Bangkok Uproar because of my lack of bloggin'.  So here is a post.

Everyone is sick.  I've been lazy as hell.  Having a hard time riding any more than 250km a week and work has had some serious downers.  Oh yeah.  It's cold as hell riding in the morning.  12-14 degrees.  Arm warmers, vests and even the wool knee warmers this morning.  It's supposed to get colder but what ever.   The winter gear is out and now, won't be going away until my Canadian return this August.  The plan is to return early august as there are a few good races I'd like to do in Ontario.  August should also offer some nice riding weather.

I also plan on buying my first car.  Anyone got a rust bucket?  Something with 4 wheels and a drivers seat.  Anything else would be pushing it and unnecessary!  I know choquette has that 350z.  It's only got 2 doors and is just simply unpractical in this economic medium. 

I got a thousand ozzie for that lil snot rocket of yours!

Anywho.  It's all I can muster up at the moment.  I will not be able to get my Dorothy's until June'ish and wheels are being sought after by someone else.  So their status is still unknown.  I did buy some bad ass frog skins.  Turquoise with white arms!  Ugliest most expensive pieces of plastic you've ever seen but stopped from complaining about not getting any gear!

Over and out

Need a kick in the ass!

Life is kinda borring at the moment. It's been the wetest April since before I've been born and I've been unbeleivably lazy! Work has been busy with stupid jobs but with the team of ladies leaving in tomorrow morning things should go back to the regular. They'll be long hours, but I'll be able to do some house keeping which will be good.

Other than that, yeah! Easter was boring. Loads of rain and everything was closed. WOOHOO! No coffee for 3 days! Stupid Country.

Got Ham Showed for Paris Roubaix Sunday night. I wasn't thrilled with the way the race turned out. Crashes are always fun, but not when they dictate the finishing order.

Anywho, riding tomorrow so its gonna be an early night. No excuses tomorrow! Getting up and going for a spin. I got to get a few good weeks under the felt so I can stop feeling like shiat when I ride with good riders.

Lazy days

Well It's been a little while, but then again I haven't had much to blog about.  Bloggin material has been somewhat dry recently.  Compared to the more recent stuff anywho.  Buckets no longer cross my path, it's quite depressing!

The riding has been on and off.  My wrist, and more recently my elbow have been bugging me a fair bit.  I've resorted to wearing gloves to help cushion some of the impact but the riding is still uncomfortable.

Rode 'Zupps' on Sunday.  Group of atleast 60-80 riders.  The gas got turned on at about 60kms.  The pace wasn't too bad, but the series or corners and having to sprint out of them made the riding tough.  I was blowing of all holes and the good ol' stomach cramped like there was no tomorrow, reminding me: "Hey Dude.  You've done phuck all for the last 2 months other than drink buckets and lay around!  Don't pretend to be Lance and go back to bed"

So I listened to my self.  Went home with my tail between my legs, cooked up a feast and went out for my buddies' birthday and got SMASHED!  No buckets, but Stubbies were a close 2nd!  Ahhhh foreign countries and their drinking paraphernalia!  

Anyways, the weather is supposed to clear up this week.  Humidity to drop and sunshine to come out.  Should be a good riding week.

The pictures above:  My remaining funds from and my original balance.  And the bad ass bruise that I still have on my thigh 2 weeks later!  It actually got way more bad ass looking but I forgot to snap a picture.

Will Someone Take My Money?!

All I want is some sexy French and Italian carbon toys!  Is that too much to ask!?  Can't get the red shoes I want because they are out of stock in my size in Australia and my boss is being a tight ass about parting with wheels he has had in stock for 12 months.  Kinda defeets :) my point of working in a bike store at this point in time!

I told my self the store would be good because I could buy some sexy toys, but no matter how hard I try to find expensive gear, I just can't seem make my bike garage grow.

Anywho, no shoes, no wheels, road rash and a sore wrist.  Too many hours of work and an unappreciative boss.  It's a been an awesome week!  Time to see if I have any connections left in the industry that can pull through for a foreign brotha!

Got a bottle of Shiraz to help me see through these tough and stressful times.

FYI - still looking for an accountant to help me with my Canadian Tax dilemma!

Mmm... Australian Roads

Well we all knew it had to come sooner or later.  I got lucky in 2008 considering the miles I was consistently banging out.

I got a flat tire just prior to turning corner at the back of the group just after turning around at 80kms.    The most awkward unanticipated fall!  Luckily I wasn't going very fast but equally as painful as a ton of road rash.  I paid the price for not wearing gloves, but the worst of the is in the wrist.  I had good mobility yesturday, but the hand seized up pretty good after the nights sleep.  AWESOME!! 

I was technically working on the ride as I was riding with the 'lifestyle' group.  Took nearly 3.5 hours to ride those 80kms!  Although the ride was slow it was nice for my out of shape legs.  A nice change from saturday, where I had an intermediate group to my self over 80kms of hilly roads.  Trying to look tough and as if these hills and distance were not hurting my holiday form!  I was screaming and kicking and crying from the get go!

I need to find some form quick!  I'm hoping the wrist heals up quick.  In the mean time, I might do the un-thinkable and ride the trainer!

Plastic Surgery on the bike starts tomorrow.  Just need to replace the LH Carbon lever on the shifter.

2 Months Off Mi Bicicletta

Went for my first ride today. Just shy of 40km and I really wish I had applied some shammy cream. My ass is raw. The ride felt good. It was nice to finally get the legs turning again. Tomorrow 50-60 km and then 140 for Sunday. 250km in a weekend after being in a foreign country drinking my face off and doing other things not recommended by the surgeon general. Not Smart. But hey! It did take me 5 yrs to get a 4 yr undergrad!

These are the last pictures from Laos. I promise! Just goes to show how much of a blast I had with the Crew as seen in the picture. I dunno who the guy is at the front. Random. But all the others are 'The Crew'! Most of travelling on russian bikes through Vietnam. Others are travelling through Cambodian islands. Eli, the only girl capable of dealing with a dozen guys talking trash for weeks on end, is in Nepal doing some awesome hikes up some big hills and checking out everest base camp. I'm kinda jealous! I can't stay off expedition websites. I am currently eyeing up a 7000m peak which is considered an easy first Himalayan ascent. US$11,000. Probably absolutely stupid thing to do, but go big or go home! Anyone want to buy a house in lovely London Ontario, for lets say 300K? Bargain! Or am sure many companies would be willing to get some cool pictures of some kid on top of the world. Afterall, I am sure this financial year will be amazing! Let me know! I'll shower and look good for the meeting!

I've started to think about my return to Canada. The plan at the moment is to spend an outrageous amount of money on new bicycle wheels (mavic ultimates) and new shoes (sidi Ergo2 Red Vernice). I've been speaking with a few people about heading to the US to do some racing around mid July. It would be nice to head down with 3-4 other guys and ripping it up around the US racing circuit. Having been there before and having had my ass handed to me will definitely help in the preparation. Australian weather will also be of some help in being able to train and not have to worry about that thing called snow.

Well the rugby is on and the bottle is half empty/full (Linds isn't here either). I've got work to do before 10 speeding manana.

I hope Spring is beginning to show its legs and miniskirt.

'Winter' is beginning to show it self here. About 25-30C most days...

IMPORTANT

Are you an accountant? Do you have experience on getting your clients HEAPS of money back? If so E-Mail me! I am a poor hippie who needs to screw the Canadian revenue agency!

Rock Bottom

Been back at work lifting things and doing odd jobs for a friend of mine.  My body is broken.  My hammies feel as though they could snap at any time and my hands are raw to the bone from 120 grit sand paper.

Oh Yeah, its only been 2 days and I've felt this way since the end of the first!

I purchased a 'tall boy' with what was left with my Australian money after work this evening.  Even had to scam the BWS (liquor store) lady with a 1 baht coin as a 5cent coin!  MUAHAHA!  Stickin'it to the man!  I am now craving a huge class of milk and some chewy chocolate cookies but I have nothing but 4US$ 11Brunei$ and 400 odd Thai Bahts.  I think I also have 2Fiji$ somewhere.  I fell useless!  I would repeat my Pai minivan fiasco for those treats right now!

Anyways, its back to my regular day job tomorrow.  Working in A/C on a stool will be nice!  Anyone who brings me a piece of junk will regret it.  Campy and Dura Ace only.  No bike cleanings.  Got a problem?  Go elsewhere!

Time to get back into shape and start buying new bike toys!

Same Same but Different

Well this is it. My last full day in Thailand and then it's home time. Well, not until I make an unwanted stop in Brunei and spend the rest of my very well budgeted money in over priced crappy hostels. I would much rather go have a great meal and an awesome bottle of wine in Australia with Lindsay, but my poor travel planning has me blowing it all in one of the richest Sultan in the world's pocket! How's that for a kick in the balls!

I'll plan on writing a few posts about what it is that I've learnt and the experience of traveling and all that. Honestly, this traveling thing is a huge eye opener. Both in positive and negative ways. Negatives being: how some, or probably most, people are really ruining these beautiful destinations for the future.

Capitalism I suppose! So I can't speak too much!

Anyways, here are a few more drunken pics! The guys in the pictures are the awesome english dudes I spent my last week and a bit with. They are buying mortorcycles and riding cross country in Vietnam. Starting tomorrow! Good Luck Fella's! Keep the rubber side down!

See yah back down under!

Which one's the Monkey?!

A day in Veng Viang

My first day tubing was quite a memorable one. The first to crack a beer open, I was ready to party like a rockstar and get the full gist of this place. Within 15 minutes of being at the first bar, Smile Bar, I had smashed my toe open and lost my Tiffany's ring from the swing set. PHUACK. SHHHHHH! DON'T TELL LINDSAY! It sliped off my finger as I landed in the water. Nothing I could do about it, I'll have to go shopping when I get back!

Ended up getting completely drunk. Lost my flip flops along the way between bar 3 and 4 only to find them floating down stream at the last bar just as I was about to get out of the water. Co Incidink or what?! I also managed to lose my Oakleys in a more rapid section, but thankfully these local kids anticipate these kinda things to happen so they hang around with snorkel gear to fish out stuff. Cost me 10,000 kip but I got them back!

Master Card Advert

4 Days in Vieng Vang - 1.5 million kip
Lost Tyffanys ring - 3 million kip
Busted Toe - 200,000 kipp

Recovering a pair of flip flops worth less than 10000 kipp - USELESS!

The following day after only sleeping for a few hours a handfull of us thought it would be cool to check out this cave about 6km away. The plan was for a bicycle excursion, but we opted for the tuk tuk pretty quick. How can I describe this cave experience.

5 idiots, 4 candles, flip flops and a half working light. The cave was PITCH black at the best of times with super slippery rocks. The flip flops were useless, the candles we purchsed were actually insense sticks with a little birth day candle meant to be used to stick infront of the reclining buddha. Spent an hour trying not to get lost or kill our selves but we made it out in the end. The rest of the day was filled wiht more tubing!

Um.... WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So the journey South has stopped only 160km from where it began 4 days ago. Pretty pathetic but leaving this place won't be the easiest! They must be spiking my buckets! This little place known has Vieng Vang, but better known to the western world as TUBES! I can't even begin to explain how this place is. Maybe like a Disney world for young adult travelers. Let me try anyways!

The place looks like a quiet little town with 2 main streets. You check into one of the few guesthouses. Nothing out of the ordinary, afterall, this is center of Laos. Miles from any other country. But then you grab a Tuk Tuk and head towards the river. 5 minute drive away and this slow moving river is lined with Bars, swings, zip wires and tree platforms from where you are supposed to throw your self off into the water. Absolutly INSANE! Everyone starts at the top bar and you make your way down in the river to the next one through out the day. Some suckers purchase tubes to float down, but we were clever enough to realize we can save ourselves 60,000kip by simply floating down and mooching off others when the river gets rocky! And some were wondering if I had actually learnt anything after 5 years of undergrad!

So thats pretty much been what I have been doing for the last 72 hours. My body is broken from jumping off the swings. My liver is probably bleeding uncontrolably but this has been the most fun I've probably ever had!

I'm heading home in 5-6 days. I'll have to get a move on sooner or later. 1 more good day 'tubing' tomorrow and then I'm off for sure. Getting back to the bike and work will be good.

BTW, I'm a millionaire here. Withdrew 1.5 million Kip yesturday! This place is good to me!

Just on my way out

Just about to hop onboard a minivan to begin the final trip back south towards bangkok. Yesturday consisted of awesome swim-able waterfalls in these sweet blue turquoise waters!

Tomorrow, floating downstream with buckets of booze for 3-5 hours!

See you soon!

2 Days on the Mekong

The trip to Laos was super awesome. 2 day boat ride down the mekong river with an evening stop mid way through. Lots of beer/laos whiskey. These english boys can drink! and somehow do it all over the next evening!

Headed towards, Vieng Vang tomorrow morning for some tubing and then its the home stretch. 10 days left and about 1000km to cover.

Wont let me upload pictures for some reason and its waterfall jumping time.

later

Pai, Pronounced like 'Bye'

Got here 4-5 days ago. I've done nothing, I've done loads. To be honest it doesn't really matter! You are busy doing whatever it is you are doing in Pai. Postcards read DO NOTHING IN PAI! Got ham showed a few nights ago, spent another day recovering. Met these British guys last night who look to have become my partners in Crime in going to Laos! We plan on heading out tomorrow morning and spending another day in Chiang Mai figuring out our transfer to the little country to the North east.

I will be made to pay more than everyone at the boarder in order to receive my travel visa. Apparently some Canadian person or government did something really stupid in the past which upset the Lao people. My visa will be about 25% more expensive! BASTARDS!

The plan is to have beverages tonight, but rest assured, or probably disapointed that I will NOT be getting overly intoxicated!

But Stay tuned lol! Not sure of the internet situation in Laos, I don't even know the plan although tubing down the river in Vien Viang (Sp) is more than certain!

Talk soon

Pai: Going to be tough to leave

So I've already booked 1 weeks worth of accomodations in my little bungallow by this sweet lazy river. The place is awesome. Laid back, great food, friendly people and best of all its in a relatively remote part of the north, with the Bermese and Lao boarders within a few hours drive. Prob less than 100km but the crazy hills make the driving quite difficult and slow.

My last day in Chiang mai was pretty good. Rented this shitty 125 and went exploring. Checked out Doi Suthep and its temple, and then took the bike further to Doi Pui, the summit @ about 1650 meters. The climb on a bicycle would have been perfect. Easy climbing for the better part of 10kms and then the road kicks HARD right before the temple all the way up to the summit. I would consider it an Cat 1 or even HC. I ended up walking around the Pui where some locals said to walk in that direction for an hour! Sketchy trails at best. The views when I got to my destination where alright I guess. There is a pretty bad smog surrounding the region. I was also in the presence of a dozen or so Thai dudes in Military digs drinking Thai Whisky on their dirt bikes. The lonely planet states there are still several paramilitary groups working in the emphetamine/heroin trade in the region so I didn't stick around too long!

On my way back down I also checked out these waterfalls which consists of 9 steps. I got up to step 4 about 5-600 meters before I could no longer find a trail up. Pathetic, but I was tired from the 2 hours walking before and the sun was beginning to set. Didn't want to get up the 2km vertical trail and have the sun set on me! The bugs were bad enough durring the day!

I ended up meeting this German dude back in town. We proceeded to getting rediculousy drunk. I did anyways, and I made the amature mistake of doing so on an empty stomach. Several Long Neck beers later, a couple Chang towers and I was off! Headed back to my hotel room to get eaten alive by the mozzies!

The next morning I figured leaving for Pai would be a good idea! 140km of the wyndiest bumpiest roads I've ever been on and I was sweating like a Heroin addict in need of a fix. About 2 minutes before the piss break. I pewked. Managed to keep it in my mouth as so avoid embarassing my self infront of the 14 others. I dont think anyone noticed! Yes! Went to the pisser, pewked it out and tried to fall asleep before we left again. 10 minutes before Pai. I pewk again, however this time, some escaped! PHUCK! Sweating, pewking, shivering. A horrible day!

I laid in bed most of the day shivering in the heat as I had not had anything to eat all day or anything the day before really either. But I was in Pai and thats all that mattered! I managed to get out of bed later in the evening. Grabbed some strawberries and felt instantly better! Saw this British girl that was on the bus with me who has been here for over a month. She prob couldn't help but to laugh at my sorry ass! We grabbed prob the best bite to eat I've had since being in Thailand. For the expensive price of 30B! I walked around some but pretty much went straight back to bed!

Today I feel fantastic! Going to buy another few books as I finished the one I bought in Chiang Mai. Hanging out in my 2nd home away from my 2nd home! I like it here!

STRESS FREEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Mortgage is renewed. As easy as a few online questions actually! Man I can't describe the sense of relief passing through me! I phoned my bank man yesturday only to find out he left. WHAT?! SHIT! I didn't get the interest rate he had mentioned I could have received last September, but then again, I'm sure he wasn't anticipating on the Financial World crashing like a shitty PC. 4% which is currently better than my 4.65% BOO YAH!

At the end of the day I didn't really care! I just didn't want to go through any head aches from Thailand and have to beg for mercy or my Fahjah for a flight back to Canada to deal with it in person. To be honest I don't think he would have been very surprised. I've been known to be last minute in a thing or two most of my life! But C'Mon! What are your eldest sons for ?! If I dont make the mistake, Alex, MP or Gabi wouldn't get the lessons and might fall into that same trap! In a way, I make sure the little ones don't make the same mistakes I do!

The pictures are just random ones from the last 3 weeks.

I'm off to drink beer in celebration! Enjoy the shots!

Chiang Mai Rocks!

Killing time in Chiang Mai rocks! Although I admit beaching it would probably be the best option for time killing, this city is a close 2nd. Last night's Sunday Walking street was the coolest thing. Not like in Phuket where there are 500 stalls trying to sell you the same shirt/sarrong/suit. Although there were many of the same things being sold, you didn't get that impression. The best part was, NO ONE saying:

"Hey my friend! Where are you from?! You need a suit!"

For the first time since arriving in Thailand, I spent some Bahts! Got my self a Man Purse. You know the hippie type bags! Linds left me a nylon type bag but funny enough it ripped as soon as she left! Did us well for 3 weeks but thats all she wrote! Nearly lost my Ipod because of the rip!

The pictures above are from Krabi and Railay. My new buddy, Rich, was quite thirsty after that long climb! 1237 steps. Some sections resembled walls more than anything. The reward was well worth it, with fantastic views over Krabi.

Railay was a beautiful beach. With the east side of the 'Island' showcasing mangroves regrowing post-tsunami, it had a more relaxed vibe. Cool bars over hanging the high tide with axe pillows? Serving up mojitos and many other 'stimulants' you wouldn't normally find on your regular North American 'specials lists'! Checking out the stars and laying out at these cool bars was pretty awesome! The west was more resort driven, but the beach was also much nicer. We also used this as our dive location. 2 dives, lunch and drinks and 2 different islands for under $AUS100. Now thats value baby! The dive sites weren't the best. Visibility was Mediocre/OK at best but we did get to see some pretty cool stuff. Including a wall of several thousand baby Baracudas. We literally couldn't see our dive guide infront of us swimming around them!

Banged out a Phi Phi Island snorkeling tour which took us through many of the sights made famous by movie, The Beach. Not exactly my cup of tea. Millions of tourists everywhere and shitty snorkeling! Total opposite from we were used to in Bulone and Lipeh. Can't tell you how much I want to go back there! I'll deal with the sand and salt on those islands!

Anywho, off to my next time killing activity. Hunting for post cards and then maybe a quiet spot for reading. I might end up staying another night and then head towards Pai. Might make the trip in a few days and do a Climb up one of the Doi's (Mountains) near here. White water rafting might have to wait until Pai, but I'm not sure I'm in the right season anywho. I can picture doing more portaging than anything else!

JN

North to South

24 hours on a bus and I find my self away from anything that remotely looks like a beach. I've had enough salt and sand to last me a while.

I find my self in Chiang Mai, Thailands second largest city. Haven't done much exploring yet but there is a 'walking street' today so I'll be sure to check that out. Getting food is also on the agenda as I haven't had something decent to eat since Lindsay and I's Tiger Prawn Feast in Phuket. Closing in on 48 hours ago. I could have eaten a little at stops but my stomach has been iffy for the better part of a week. The last thing I wanted was to HAVE to use the bus facilities!

I plan on laying low for a little while. Let the old finances bounce back a little. Found my self a decent room for less than 10 bones aussie a day. It's nothing great but it will definately do the trick for 2 nights. I'll decide the plan from there. I have 3 weeks to kill! I've been told Pai is a mini swizerland with streams, hills and more bungallows 3-4 hours away from here.

There are also several 'Treks' that can be done from this city which take through many of the national parks here. I've been eyeing up a few which included white water rafting and motorcycle touring but they will blow my funds quick. It's tempting considering I could just go do nothing in Pai for a week and let the funds bounce back again. Chow some raclette and learn Thai or something !

Part of me wishes I headed back to Australia with Lindsay Yesturday. Not that I 'm not having a good time, it's just hard work. Avoiding scams and putting up with the constant hastling from the venders takes a lot out of you! There was a cool shirt in Phuket that read:

No I don't want a
*(&#$#
Tuk Tuk
Suit

I forget the whole shirt! But I'm sure you catch my drift!

I've already finished my two books. Marching Powder was a great read.

Anywho, time to find something to eat! I'll post pictures tomorrow

"Let's get as far away from Bangkok as possible"

Alright folks! Bangkok was a jungle show where I can only describe my self as 'Bambi'. Hated the place and not stowked about having to go back to fly out and probably to connect through to head to Chang Mai next week.

As for now, hanging out in the awesome province of Krabi, a connection hub to many world reknown islands including Phi Phi. Some of you may recognize this as the island used for the movie 'The Beach'. Can't wait to find those massive fields of that stuff the locals refer to as GUNJAH!

Tomorrow we are heading to Emerald Tiger Cave. According to our bible, the Lonely planet, it is a very unique 'Wat' in Thailand. Just inland from where we are, it is considered to be in the jungle and has a Buddha 1200 steps up from the main part. Climbing legs and running shoes here we come!!

Off to Railay afterwards. Arguably, Thailand's most beautiful beach and area. It supposed to be a spot where some princess' boat had to be ditched and where she lived for a while. She lived in the caves. We'll see! I don't want to butcher the story too much!

As for us. We are returning from some of the farthest Islands off of Thailands Coast line, sharing the boarder with Malaysia. Ko Lipeh, where the sunset shots were taken is a healthy hour and a bit away from Pak Bara, its coastal dock, by high speed boat. We lived in a hut on the beach and ate fresh fish which arrived daily. The beach was lined with more huts and awesome rasta bars. Instead of chair and table patios, the bars had beach rugs?? with those Triangular pillows. All while drinking down your beer and enjoying the sunset. Repeat each day!

The following 3 days were spent on Bulone, similar island, only lest developed. The power was only in place between 6-12 in the evening. Lots of beach time, and swimming in crystal clear waters. Some much needed relaxing after that Bangkok experience.

Enjoy the shots, and there are many more from where they come from.

Thailand: Can only get better from here!

Been scammed, lost in terrorist country in the deep south with no outlook on making it out and done enough travelling in 2 and 3rd class transportantion to circumnavigate the world!

Drug running boat awaits, cant chat long. Linds and I are alive for now but the beginning of island life is about to begin. I'd upload pictures however reading the keyboard let alone the screen is enough of a challenge.

Off to Kof Lipeh, 2 hours of electricity a day, and loads of 20 baht beers. See you soon, or then again... maybe not!

For those heading down south for training camps in the next few weeks, remember to pack that good ol'bottle of baby oil!

The week has been busy with the usuals.  Lots of riding and more working.  The work week sucked, being salaried and doing more hours than you are supposed to does not work.  Thankfully, the boss wasn't around so the slacking got pretty healthy!

The riding was pretty awesome.  My request for Mt. Tamborine came through this sunday.  140km in near death like humidity.  We ended up getting plagued by flat tires and I ended up spending the 25km before the hill chasing at 45km/h.  The hill was awesome.  Steady riding, beautiful rainforest views and knarly birds making crazy noises.  Half way up is an entrance for a Jurassic Park with a big pterodactyl.  It has you looking around, thats for sure!  The only regret was descending like a Grandma on the sketchy descent.  Because of the rainforest humidity the roads were very wet and slippery.  My Lack of insurance and nearing Thailand trip restricted the speed to 60 odd km/h.  Although it felt much faster because of the vibrations from the bad roads! 12 water bottles later we were home!

Another 100km ride on monday which was also australia day to Mt. Mee.  Pissing rain and more brutal humidity .  We decided not to climb the hill.  The climb would be fine but the descent would have been too sketchy.  We stopped at a bakery!  It ended up being a perfect ride, my legs were sore from Tamborine and the hard work in the wind on the way back.

Just getting back into town waiting at a light a white truck pulled up behind us blaring stupid loud music.  The driver pulled up a little more and shouted "HEY!  You from Bermuda"  (I was wearing my bermuda Jersey).  I shouted back yes and I could definitely recognize the guy, probably from school.  He then answered back, "You went to Saltus enna?"  The light went green and he drove away.  I still can't remember the guy's name but I'm pretty sure we were in the same grade.  It's a small world and Bermudians are EVERYWHERE!

Anywho, off to Thailand tomorrow.  Hanging in Bangkok for a few days and then taking the train south before making our way back up.

Should be some good stories, stay posted

JN